Family Life

Love Lessons

It was one of those days, where I felt like no matter which way I turned, I was hitting a wall. There seemed to be obstacles everywhere that kept me from going where I wanted to go and doing what I wanted to do. There were challenges with my children: it seemed my voice could not be heard, my directives could not be understood, and my efforts could not be appreciated. So, our homeschool day ended on a sour note. The pity party began.

I give, give, give to this family and get nothing in return.

So, here is where The Lord took me in the midst of my complaining.

“… train the young women to love their husbands and children” (Titus 2:4)

But I do love them, my heart would protest. It is apparent in the time, energy, efforts, and sleep that I sacrifice for them. I am practicing sacrificial (agape) love for them. And, I know I’m not alone in this. Without a doubt, many wives and mothers love their families in this way.

But the Titus verse is a command for women, not to agape love, but to phileo love, meaning to love with affection.

I have been so busy loving my family with sacrifice, I have failed to love them with affection.

My love falls short.

On his way home from work, my husband called, “Let’s take the kids to the park.” My first thought was to respond, “You can take them. I have other things to do.” I looked at the kids, and they were playing happily together on the floor. They don’t have to go to the park; they’re just fine over there. How could I possibly take any time to go out and play with them when the sink was full of dishes, dinner had to be prepared, and the tower of laundry was about to topple over? Thank The Lord for holding my tongue.

We went to the park. I pushed my 2-year-old on the swing while we sang one of his favorite nursery rhymes together. I watched with delight at my 5-year-old boy climb up the hill, diligently looking for the best rocks for his collection. I hugged and kissed my only daughter after she fell and scraped her knee and then ran off to play again. And, I supported Gabriel’s legs as he excitedly swung his arms across the monkey bars.

Before this day, I was missing out on a lot by not phileo loving my children. Praise The Lord that in His kindness, He didn’t let me miss out this time.

14 thoughts on “Love Lessons”

  1. This post brought a smile. Isn’t it wonderful how the richness of the Word in it’s original language can give us a whole new meaning to what we read in the Bible. This is a wonderful insight for all moms everywhere. Thank for sharing what you are learning in your walk with the Lord.

    1. Thank you for the reblog, Kenny T! Haven’t been by your site in a while nor mine. It’s been busy lately, and I miss writing here and reading other blogs. It was nice to see your reblog this morning and the visits from others. God bless!

    1. When I first learned that the word was phileo, not agape, I was still single. I admit that it didn’t make sense to me at the time. Now that I’m married with children, I can see why phileo was used.

  2. I will become a young mommy several months later. When I read this post, through your story I got valuable lesson how to love our kids with phileo love. Thank you so much for this beautiful lesson 🙂 Blessings.

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