When my husband and I decided that homeschooling our son, Gabriel, was the best option for his education and growth, I was terrified. I felt extremely inadequate and unqualified. What good is my economics degree? I thought. Why didn’t I pursue linguistics or speech pathology? I wished I was better equipped to help my child in his speech and language disorder.
Now, almost 4 years later, I still feel inadequate and unqualified. Add to that frustrated and ready to give up, and you can surmise that a smooth-running homeschool day is rare for us. There is a public elementary school a few blocks from our house, and there have been many days when I wanted to walk over there in the middle of our day to enroll him. But I can’t. I know that at this point in his development, it is not what is best for him. But when I am not thinking rightly, this leaves me feeling trapped, feeling like I have no choice but to do what I don’t want to do.
The Lord addressed this with me yesterday as I listened to the sermon, which began with this verse:
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'” (John 8:31-32)
This prison of my circumstances I have created for myself because I have not been abiding in the truth. I did not feel trapped because of my particular situation. I felt trapped because of my sin of anger and unbelief. Jesus, in this passage, explains that in practicing sin, we become slaves to sin. Isn’t that true? Think of each sin we choose to indulge in, even the “small” sins. We choose it because we derive from it some momentary pleasure. But when that pleasure is gone, that sin still remains. That is bondage.
Needless to say, I was convicted after the sermon. I do not have to dwell in the prison cell of my unbelief. I can abide in the truth, abide in Christ. No longer am I a slave to sin. My redemption is complete.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
(Photo credit: vividcorvid)