Homeschool, Trusting God

Free Indeed

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When my husband and I decided that homeschooling our son, Gabriel, was the best option for his education and growth, I was terrified. I felt extremely inadequate and unqualified. What good is my economics degree? I thought. Why didn’t I pursue linguistics or speech pathology? I wished I was better equipped to help my child in his speech and language disorder.

Now, almost 4 years later, I still feel inadequate and unqualified. Add to that frustrated and ready to give up, and you can surmise that a smooth-running homeschool day is rare for us. There is a public elementary school a few blocks from our house, and there have been many days when I wanted to walk over there in the middle of our day to enroll him. But I can’t. I know that at this point in his development, it is not what is best for him. But when I am not thinking rightly, this leaves me feeling trapped, feeling like I have no choice but to do what I don’t want to do.

The Lord addressed this with me yesterday as I listened to the sermon, which began with this verse:
“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'” (John 8:31-32)

Prison CellsThis prison of my circumstances I have created for myself because I have not been abiding in the truth. I did not feel trapped because of my particular situation. I felt trapped because of my sin of anger and unbelief. Jesus, in this passage, explains that in practicing sin, we become slaves to sin. Isn’t that true? Think of each sin we choose to indulge in, even the “small” sins. We choose it because we derive from it some momentary pleasure. But when that pleasure is gone, that sin still remains. That is bondage.

Needless to say, I was convicted after the sermon. I do not have to dwell in the prison cell of my unbelief. I can abide in the truth, abide in Christ. No longer am I a slave to sin. My redemption is complete.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

(Photo credit: vividcorvid)

12 thoughts on “Free Indeed”

  1. Greenlightlady has it right–all homeschooling moms have had those days. For some of us, whole seasons! It can be particularly discouraging when dealing with learning difficulties (my son has a language based learning disability). I too am seeing the fruit of staying in the race–two of mine are teenagers who are intelligent, respectful, and just a lot of fun to be around. In the end, it is worth all of the difficulty to help shape our children into the young men and women He created them to be. Grace and peace to you! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to visit here and for sending me some needed encouragement! I’m praying for God’s grace and strength to “stay in the race” as you put it. Blessings to you!

  2. I think any homeschool mom who is completely honest has had those moments and days; I know that I’ve had a few over the last 12 yrs of homeschooling. Now I am seeing the fruit of calm and mature teenagers who love their family and think outside the box.

    Blessings ~ Wendy

    1. Thank you for sharing this! I’m only 4 years into homeschooling, so the thought of calm and mature teenagers is so far from me. :-). But I know I can trust in God’s faithfulness no matter what happens. God bless!

  3. I hadn’t really considered that my self-doubt reflected unbelief but I see where you are coming from. When we belittle ourselves, we are belittling the one who created us and He makes everything glorious, which includes you and me. Bless you in your work, sister.

    1. Yes, that’s exactly what I mean by unbelief. And, for me, it’s not just how I see myself, but how I see my circumstances, not believing that God causes all things to work out for good. Thank you, as always, for your encouraging comments!

  4. Every moment you are giving of yourself in homeschooling your son is time not wasted in God’s eyes. I admire your courage. I homeschooled my son 7 years and it is not an easy job! Blessings for your selfless giving.

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