After Gabriel received the diagnosis of Mixed Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder (MERLD), I couldn’t help but wonder if something else was going on with him. He would do things that left us confused and asking “Why?”. We had his hearing checked. All clear. We had him tested for autism. He showed a few signs, but not enough to put him on the spectrum. Even his speech therapists thought there’s more to Gabriel than language delays.
I searched the internet for some answers … Autism, PDD-NOS, Sensory Processing Disorder, Asperger, Auditory Processing Disorder. The possibilities seemed endless, and I was left with more questions than when I first began my quest for answers. We had a follow up appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician, and I had my list of concerns ready. I tried to explain to him in great detail the things that Gabriel would do that were odd to us. But the doctor was not convinced that he had anything else besides MERLD. I was disappointed. I wanted some clear answers, and I thought I would find them with the doctors. In hindsight, I’m thankful that the doctor was not quick to diagnose. We have friends who have a son that was misdiagnosed, but they did not find out until after years of medication and treatment.
I still have moments of frustration when I want to say, “Will someone just give me a name for this? I want to know what’s going on with my son.” But the Lord reminds me to trust Him. In His sovereignty, He has not fully disclosed to us what is happening with Gabriel. What would I do with such information? Could I even handle it? I need to trust that there will be many things, including this one, that will remain in the secret places of God. They are safe there, and He will reveal them, if it be His will, in due time. And for now, He gives me this promise, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)